Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Taking my life back

Hello, it has been sometime since I have written...partly because life around here is a WHOLE lot of crazy...yep...you know I like to keep it REAL! 

MANY...MANY doctors appointments...usually all day visits every few weeks...which our hospital is 3 hours away, so pretty much all day appointments kind of day(and those of you who personally know me...know that I LOVE MY SLEEP.  Thank goodness for McDonald's and their $1.00 fountain pop...it is the little things...SWEET!

Well after all these appointment from specialist to specialist...one thing  they say that is constant...the girls are "troubled"...some of the most difficult/puzzling cases they have seen...conclusion...NONE.   My hubby and I have come to many conclusions ourselves...Can't find a solution that is Man Made for things that ONLY GOD CAN HEAL/FIX!!!

I have gone and heard over and over...about how I need to change how I parent to accommodate the special needs and circumstances that our girls have been through.  Classes, sessions, training...all that have been for ME to change and learn...I have played the game.  But I have am now proud to say... I am no longer playing the game.

The problem that I have...Is why am I being told and taught how to  accommodate behaviors in our house that SOCIETY will not...

Society will never say it is ok to go to the bathroom anywhere you want, to scream and rage in a public place...to lay your hands on someone in harm or to tell someone in great detail, how you are going to kill them....nope...NOT ALLOWED.


Through all of this I am starting to figure out...yes, I am a slow learner...that this journey is no longer about the relationship that I am trying to have with my girls...it really is just fully trusting GOD and my relationship with HIM!  I so badly want them to love me and have a normal life...we have created the enviorment and have met there physical, spiritual, emotional needs...but they now have to choose to accept or not...as so far they have answered NO! 

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